#and just. life in general and things going on in my own life and also inception and also the fob smileysad face

[avelera]

So apparently, Fortiche shared concept art where Jayce's Hexcorization in the cave would extend all the way to his face:

And this is really interesting to me from a narrative perspective, here's why:

Much of S2 Jayce's arc is incredibly... punitive. Like, he is really being punished step by step for everything he did wrong in S1. From Renni terrorizing and almost killing him for the death of her son, to Viktor leaving him "for another woman" (the Hexcore as represented by Sky) much like Jayce left him for politics as represented by Mel, there's really a sense of the narrative not only tearing Jayce down to his bare essentials (something that's very common for TV writing to do, by the way, it's very common that you want to see characters reduced down to who they are for their "long night of the soul" moment before they learn the lessons of what they really stand for before going into the climax armed with those lessons), but Jayce's time in the cave really goes even further than that and not only does S2 take away his political career, his Hextech ambitions, his state as someone able-bodied, much of his strength, and certain other gifts, it looks like in this draft they considered taking away his beauty too.

I think it would have been interesting either way if they had, but I want to dive into the narrative structure of action and punishment in Arcane, why Hexcorizing Jayce's face might have been a step too far and not really addressed a lesson he needed to learn, and my thoughts on punitive character arcs in general in Arcane (or lack thereof), specifically with regards to Jayce and Caitlyn.

I've mentioned elsewhere that I always found it interesting that much of the hate directed towards Jayce by the fans was for his perceived incompetence in difficult moments, rather than at how naturally gifted he seems to be at everything.

When I first watched S1 on my own, I thought Jayce was a bit unbearable because everything comes so easily to him (after Viktor becomes his partner and Hextech takes off as a result, that is). He is naturally beautiful, he's built like a god but doesn't appear to do any sort of exercise routine to maintain this other than working in the forge, he becomes the Man of Progress and rockstar of Piltover pretty much without trying, girls are literally sighing dreamily as he goes by.

He's also naturally a genius, from what we see, revolutionizing multiple industries with one invention. Even his rescue as a child is a literal miracle and it spurs him to create an invention that makes him a rockstar. When he enters politics, he immediately dominates, to the point where he's able to get a unanimous vote to overthrow the founder of the city within weeks of going there. Even in battle he's naturally gifted and naturally lucky during the raid of the Shimmer factory (up until the death of Renni's son), even though he has no prior skills as far as we know. He also wins the love of arguably the most beautiful woman in the series, again, seemingly without trying.

Then, S2 doesn't just take all of this away from him, it seems to go a step further into actually punishing Jayce for how easy and miraculous his life was in S1.

I'm of two minds about the Hexcorization reaching his face, but I have a hypothesis. I think it would have looked fucking rad but, I kinda get why they didn't do it:

Because Jayce's good looks are not something he can control, unlike the other things the narrative punishes him for.

Insofar as he can control his looks, he gives up on the clean-cut, immaculate "Golden Boy" image. Even in the idealized astral plane, he keeps most of the marks of his time in the pit like his hair and beard. I think it's because Jayce likes who he became down there. The clean-cut version of him was always the mask of him trying to please others, Jayce's appearance after he emerges from the cave is him shedding the opinions of others (contrast this with how Viktor idealizes himself in the astral plane, removing all marks of his illness. This isn't a criticism, just an interesting point of contrast).

So basically, my theory is Fortiche may have pulled back on Hexcorizing Jayce's face on the one hand to soften the visuals a bit, but secondly because it keeps the focus on punishing Jayce for things he chose to do, rather than things he doesn't really have control over.

But make no mistake, the narrative comes down hard on Jayce in S2, for every little thing the fans could and often did hate him for in S1. He pays for all of them, arguably in excess of what he maybe deserved, since as he says he didn't ask for any of this. But he did go along with it, and there's where the hammer of consequence (quite literally) comes down on him, tears away all his privileges, drags him down to literally the level of Viktor when he first left the undercity and says, "You have to do it all again but now focused on what really matters, and it's going to be ten times harder than it ever was."

This, in my opinion, is why Jayce is so popular coming out of S2. It is a hell of an arc, it's a hell of a redemption! You gave the man everything any man could want, then you took it all away, and then as his crowning moment of showing he has truly learned these lessons and made up for his mistakes, he makes possibly the most loving gesture possible, puts his weapons down, and reaches out to the person he loves most and literally sacrifices himself on the altar of his mistakes to make things right and show Viktor he is loved, and to protect Viktor from the horrifically lonely fate of his future self. It doesn't get any more noble, loving, or self-sacrificing than that.

Because more than we like to see a character punished we like to see them learn from their mistakes and come back better. Jayce's S2 nobility is earned, perhaps even to excess, no one can question whether he suffered enough to make up for what he did in S1 but even the most uncharitable read of him in S1, his biggest hater, would have to agree his time spent starving to death in agony, alone in that cave for months, has got to be just about the worst punishment a human can face and live.

Which is one reason I must add that I find it a little puzzling that Arcane's creators didn't predict the hate that Caitlyn would get in S2.

Keep in mind, because this is very important, the Arcane creators did not make S2 in response to fan reactions to S1. S2 was already in production and the script was locked in and done before anyone outside their organizations saw S1. So nothing that happens in S2 is as a result of fan response.

But, the creators did understand that Jayce was going to need to suffer narrative punishment for what he did in S1 in order to be redeemed, whether they predicted how hated he would be after S1, they did predict that redemption would be necessary. And boy-howdy, did they give him a hell of a redemption arc!

But Caitlyn's S2 actions are almost in lock-step similar to Jayce's S1 actions, being manipulated (by a Medarda!) into accepting power, but maybe not having a choice in the matter, but still maybe expanding that power on their own because it is useful in its own right. Caitlyn also makes terrible mistakes. A child doesn't die but people in the undercity do get hurt during her rage-fuled raids, even if most of them are mob bosses and their goons. The narrative asks, does that make it right? Caitlyn like Jayce hurts the person closest to her who is from the undercity and uses bigoted language against the people of the undercity to Vi's face in much the same way that Jayce did to Viktor on the bridge, though in Jayce's defense, he apologized immediately after.

So, seeing how hated Jayce was coming out of S1, to the point where there's still barely any merchandise of him, I'm shaking my head rather ruefully that there was so much merch made for Caitlyn this time around. And I get it! Caitlyn and Vi were very popular after S1, they are intentionally THE main romance of the show and it was a very popular romance coming out of the innocence of their meet cute in S1.

But it's a romance that dearly needed a longer third act if you wanted Caitlyn to be as embraced after her mistakes as Jayce was after making up for his all through S2. You need to give her as long or at least as in-depth of a redemption act with as much suffering and acknowledgment of her mistakes if you want Vi and Caitlyn at the end to get celebrated the way Jayce making it up to Viktor is, because as much as I understand the choice to focus on pacing instead of exposition, and I do think Caitlyn's apology and realization of her mistakes are there on the page more than people complain, I do also agree that it is a bit "blink and you'll miss it" even if it's there. Jayce got a whole episode of being thrown into the Torment Nexus for his mistakes, real or imagined, if you didn't like him or his choices, you definitely got the sadistic glee of watching life kick the stuffing out of him for what he did in S1.

But besides her fight with Ambessa, which was a result of a confluence of many events in the story, not just Caitlyn's mistakes, Caitlyn doesn't really suffer much for the mistakes she made to those she loves. Her losing an eye to Ambessa didn't happen because she said bigoted things to Vi or became a short-term puppet dictator of Piltover. It was a result of Ambessa's actions and maneuvering more than it was a result of Caitlyn's personal mistakes to her loved ones.

In contrast, Jayce's time in the pit gave him the chance to reflect on and suffer for the the mistakes he made that led to the Anomaly that led to him being down in this pit, and what he would do to make it up to his loved ones like Viktor when he returned. Caitlyn never got a moment like that and from what I'm seeing of the vitriol directed towards her, so similar to what Jayce got after S1, it seems like she really needed it if we were going to like her to the same extent again, in a way uncomplicated by lingering questions about whether she ever truly learned the lessons her character needed to learn to grow as a person.

And it's just funny to me that a narrative that was so aware that this whole huge punishment arc was needed to rehabilitate Jayce wasn't aware that we'd need one for Caitlyn too, at least if they're going to move all that merch they made for her (please give us Jayce merch, Riot, I'm begging).

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

I'm sure nobody needs me to specify my agreement that women DID have a hard time in the world of art in general (bit of an understatement, huh?), but I'd like to focus on today.

Men get to go in the woods - in reference to the tags - I'm sure. Women... Still kind of don't. Mostly because something as isolationist as that is only really permitted to men. As a man, I'm comfortable acknowledging this even as my own situation doesn't support that idea. It's not hard to see the common sentiment. However, I want to examine the inverse; not for causation, but just to point out some correlation.

So. Men get to go into the woods. Why? Because it's generally accepted that the only way men are allowed to deal with difficult emotions is to brood silently. We can't cry, we can only really get angry in very specific, socially acceptable situations - usually an imminent issue rather than a long-term effect of something - and we most definitely can't open up, not unless it's to someone extraordinary or, once again, in the very few socially acceptable instances where a man gets to open up.

Women are more or less the opposite. They're encouraged to always, eh, "unburden" themselves from feeling bad by sharing their plight. Women also regularly get to explode in anger, or cry, or even throw a tantrum and largely even other women can't or won't comment negatively on this (at least not openly) and while I won't pretend to understand how the life of a woman works, we have enough resources to see how the differences in the way we're allowed to handle our emotions affect our daily lives. From trans people encountering social issues from a sudden shift in expectations (in either direction, mind you) to regular clashes born from being used to different methods and/or expectations of problem-solving, a lot of the reasons of why things are the way they are come down to the stigmatization of the other gender and forcing people into nest, rigid little boxes that don't really make sense at all - unless, of course, you were taught to put them there from the start.

I hate the “Thoreau’s mom did his laundry” criticism so much, it drives me crazy.

Henry Thoreau did not go to Walden Pond because he thought it would be a fun adventure. He went into the woods because he was deeply depressed and burnt out. He was running from the horror of his brother and best friend recently dying in his arms, and the haunting memory of causing the Fairhaven Bay fire. His friend Ellery Channing literally gave him the ultimatum of either taking some time off to write and think, or else be institutionalized.

I think Thoreau’s mother saw her depressed son choosing to retreat into a small cabin in the woods, and was worried about him. Of course she did his laundry - just as Ralph Waldo Emerson probably brought him firewood and bread. These were not chores of obligation to support a “great” man, but services of love to help their deeply depressed 28yo son and friend.

And if you ask me, there’s a lesson in that - to “suck out the marrow of life” and “live deliberately,” one must also accept help offered from the people in your life who love you. There is no true transcendentalism or individualism without love and friendship behind it.

[the-tarot-witch22]

What's coming for you in love in 2025? - Pick a Pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta | My year goal post

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - 10 of pentacles, knight of pentacles, 9 of wands and the fool)

Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is, "patience" I feel your love life has been stagnant or stuck for quite a while, or you just don't feel like the need to have someone in your life, you are doing things but for your own, and maybe a part of you deep down wishes for the love the craving, soul shattering style. I am feeling this year will bring you luck in your love life, Like you will be meeting someone around the mid year to next year, But what I am feeling is your person, is taking his time, since he has lots going on , nothing to worry about but is like a bit of stress going on in their life, and you as well you need to go through some transitions before you actually come across them. Their energy is very masculine or well balanced. I am also feeling that it will happen when you let go of expectation and embrace the unknown, take the risk, not just stay in your safe cocoon. I am also feeling the person coming is quite something. He is patient, not that romantic in a way, but his actions will prove otherwise, the small little things or big things you will do for you, but for many of you I am seeing you might meet your person this year, and for some of you I am seeing lots of self love and growth, the song i keep channeling is "flowers" by Miley Cyrus , like even though you crave it you are not as desperate for it. "I can buy myself flowers", "talking to myself for hours, say things you don't understand", you got the gist hmm, and this is also very beautiful it proves, that you have the right energy, but do open your heart, take risks, go out, do stuff for yourself, and very unexpectedly you will meet you person.

The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are aquarius, earth signs and fire signs especially sagittarius/leo (sun/moon/rising).

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - 2 of cups, 3 of pentacles, and 8 of wands)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is, you're definitely gonna encounter someone this year, it's like a divine connection that I am seeing is coming towards you, I am also seeing the connection between you both, is gonna get develop into something more and quickly very soon, the attraction you both feel will be very much mutual, like you both know and realize what you want and its you both, the feelings are so mutual and pure, for some of you I feel you already know who your future spouse is, so I am feeling you might get close to them. or if not then there is just they are more on your thoughts or dreams and EVEN if you don't meet them it will be like your soul recognize it and it will happen very soon for you both. I am also feeling you both might have met at work, education, travel,, or a group kind of project, or shared interest, and if not you might meet there. I am also feeling you will learn a lot, from this experience, or from them it's not a superficial kind of love it's a love and feeling that is very deep. I am also hearing that is meant to be! I am also feeling that this connection is soulmate connection and you share something deep! I am also feeling from seeing the cards that this union is gonna be life changing and it will change your perception of love and how you see it.

The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are scorpio, cancer, pisces, virgo and fire signs especially sagittarius and aries. (sun/moon/rising).

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - 9 of wands, the sun, king of swords and the 3 of cups)

Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is that you guys are SUPER independent, like yeah I can do that i don't need no one type of thing. You might have been a real people pleaser, but I am seeing you are trying to over come it and you also stand up for yourself which is very good thing, and in relationships i feel you haven't had much luck and many of you didn't even had boyfriend or this, but this just means god has some special plans for you. I am also feeling you can't tolerate bullshit of others, you are not the person to stay if someone is being intolerable. And that's a good thing. I am also seeing that you guys have CHANGED IN PAST FEW YEARS which is a good thing for you. Okay, I also got the message that some of you here might had one or two relationships but not serious, many of you don't even know what love is like (not saying that's a bad thing) just typing out the things I channel. So, now let's dive deeper, I am also feeling that this year particularly will bring a change in your life which will be TURNING YOUR LIFE UPSIDE down, maybe you realize who is your person, there will be signs, SO i am seeing and feeling that you don't ignore them at ALL. you will be seeing lots of 11:11, 222 and 444 but also feathers and butterflies. I am also feeling that the change will be so full of happiness, you might not even see it coming in a way. After all, universe has a plan and works in mysterious ways. I am also feeling that in love there is someone coming towards the end of the year mostly fall or in October, I am also feeling the person will be very intelligent and confident, they are like a life of party. I am also feeling when you come across them, you might be celebrating something like you got A job, you passed your exams, you launched your business. They are also very intellectual, and it's gonna transform your life in a very good way.

The prominent zodiac signs are - fire signs and air signs, sun/moon/rising.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[qqueenofhades]

I just wanted to say thank you for your last couple of posts (and your words on the current fuckery in general). It's been tough watching the fallout from across the globe and dreading the inevitable impact on our own elections this year.

I know this isn't the timeline either of us wanted to be in but your posts give me that but of necessary hope to keep going and fighting for better.

PS: I offer a picture of my cat Maya for comfort in these trying but will be endured times

FLUFFY. WHAT A GOOD FLUFFY. I WANT TO SNUGGLE THE FLUFFY (I AM ALLERGIC TO CATS WHICH IS WHY I MUST DO THIS VIRTUALLY, IT IS A GREAT SOURCE OF WOE AND INJUSTICE IN MY LIFE.)

....ahem.

Thanks, m'dear, and you're welcome. I am so sorry for the blizzard of bullshit that the Trumpsters are raining not just on America but the world, and it totally escapes me as to why half the country shrugged and went "eh we should elect him again." But that being as it is, Etc Etc Gandalf Nobody Wants To See These Times But We Must Decide What To Do With Them. So there is that.

Nobody DID want this timeline and it is existentially crushing to be back in it again, but... well. I am trying to limit my political posts to only the ones where I can offer a constructive action item or reassuring insight, because I don't see the point in just repeating all the no good very bad generally terrible things that are going on and which we already know about. I don't want to make light of anything or say that it's not bad, when we can see that it is very bad, but we've gotta keep our heads and a little perspective as best we can. So yeah.

My one important point for every single [insert bullshit fuckery fascist action du jour] is that we can't live and die on every 24-hour news cycle and immediately jump on every single bad thing they do, because as I keep saying, they want to wear us out and burn out our spirit to resist. So when we get obvious insane bullshit like "Elon Musk seized the financial data of every US citizen," well, we can immediately call our elected officials and so forth, but we must also pace ourselves and take the long view. This is flagrantly illegal. Everyone knows it. It will be sued and very probably enjoined. We do not need to hang onto every minute-by-minute update and traumatize ourselves into inaction, when our direct ability to influence it is limited.

We need to look at cat pictures, read books, enjoy our hobbies, look at the beautiful world, love our friends and family, make dinner, do chores, get up and keep going. If we are constantly reading or viewing content that upsets us, even when we agree with it or it comes from our friends, we need to take steps to curate it. It will not happen differently whether or not we stare at it all the time. So yes. We will get through this, but we cannot burn ourselves out in the first few weeks when they will obviously be front-loading all the most insane BS.

Courage.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

You know I've been meaning to ask.. is everything okay? I mean your pfp is blank. I understand you're uploading, but I also want to make sure you're okay

idk if i have some mental connection with you, anon, because how else i can explain that you sent this ask right when i felt so bad??? but yeah i should really put a pfp, i just can’t choose the right pic and at same time im lazy….

honestly i promised myself i wouldn’t vent online and irl because i don’t wanna be annoying or be the kind of person people get tired of. but i guess i just feel emotional rn sorry again

well 2025 kinda kicked me in the face already LMAO, it already reminded me that some people will always pick someone else and some things are just not meant to be yours. i just got reminded once again that i’m super replaceable to person i really loved and cared about. so now im realising that i was just there to pass the time until they found smth better, someone better. and they did, they did and that’s just unfair for me, i literally loved this person for 10 years and that's how i ended up

not exactly the fresh start i was hoping for lol

been feeling like a ghost in my own life lately so i guess i made this blog to just be somewhere, to talk to people, to share things i love, to feel like i exist in some small way. to find friends? idk. sometimes i wonder if i’m just taking up space here, but deleting this blog feels dramatic so whatever. although i thought bout this a lot and still think about it, but i guess im just being... yeah, dramatic, i mean i am, ive been told. so, i don't know, deleting feels rude ? and i don’t wanna be rude, i hate being rude :( i still hesitate every time i post though. and i don’t want to be that person who craves reassurance but damn, it gets lonely and im embarrassed to even say that rn

+ last year drained me so much that i couldn’t even start anything for a whole month. its about my work, i just felt stuck, exhausted before i even tried. things are getting better now with my work, though. it’s actually tied to people and honestly, i love that?? i mean, i love people very much. in general. so whenever i meet someone kind or understanding in my work, it lifts my mood

but when it comes to writing or fics, i feel like i’m always fighting myself. actually i enjoy writing, ive been writing since… 14? 13? so i try, i push through, but nothing ever feels right lately. i don’t know if it’s just a phase or if this is how it’s always going to be. why i always feel like i could’ve done better or that maybe i shouldn’t have posted at all

anyways….. i don’t usually post stuff like this. i really don’t want to be like this, i hate sounding so negative, i really do. i promised myself i wouldn’t. i usually just keep things to myself, but you seemed like you genuinely cared, sweetheart and i figured i might as well be honest, i appreciate your worry! thank u sm angel! ♡

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

Interesting that you bring that up, because I think it ties into a different Jason post I made once. You don't have to read all of that, the important part is this:

i think thats my favorite thing about the red hood. he pulls people out of the abyss. he never steps entirely out of the shadows himself, but he will extend a hand to someone else, until they can get their own grip and climb past him. he did it with roy and kori, and with the random pyg minion in batman reborn, and with duela dent, and suzie su, and bunker, and ma gunn, and in a way even his own father. he does it all the time, and i love him for that.

That post is in regards to the (eventual) conclusion to the Duela Dent arc, where Jason helps her unjokerfy and go back home. Because it really is a theme we see! I don't think DC did it intentionally, especially since half of these happened during Scott Lobdell's runs and I don't think the man did anything except throw spaghetti at a wall in the hopes that it would stick, but it's become a theme. (....Scott Lobdell also had the Generation Outlaw storyline that he didn't fucking land or conclude in any satisfying way, but that's a rant for a different day).

Anyway, the point is that yeah, in some ways Jason DOES still have to choose. A lot of the storylines he has are with people who do, eventually, decide to be less morally gray. And that's just something he doesn't do. Or, if he somehow did, if he TRULY came back into the light, he would ABSOLUTELY lose the ideological purity that drove him in the UTRH era. I'm not saying it's not possible for someone to stay with him in his moral gray zone or even in his True Villain Zone, but there is actually an interesting tragedy in the fact that no one does, because it kind of highlights the point of his character--which is that he KNOWS BOTH SIDES and he CHOOSES to stay somewhere between them. He wavers sometimes in canon, moves more toward one side or the other, but so far he always returns to that gray zone, consistently, every single time.

Comics are, in a lot of ways, black and white. Questions of morality are almost always framed in what is right and what is wrong. Characters are good or bad. Things are mutually exclusive. I don't think it's impossible to find the balance, but IMO it would be much trickier to make it work, especially in canon. To find that balance and make it truly compelling would need some significant skill. We would need someone who was truly okay to live in that gray zone, but whose values wouldn't turn out to be incompatible (which is often, I think, why he and Rose don't usually work out when they're put together. Rose WOULD be that character, but I just don't think they're sustainable, generally speaking).

With that in mind, I can see why it's usually the Batfam that he returns to in search of family. He doesn't want things that are fleeting. He doesn't want "well, we can put Joker in Arkham until his next breakout", he wants the Joker DEAD. And he really doesn't want the people in his life to give up on him!! He WANTS both. NEEDS it, maybe. Even as far back as UTRH we saw this tension. Jason is holding VERY tightly to his ideals in that comic, and still he all but begs Bruce to join him so that he can have both. His origins will always be most deeply rooted in the Batfam. But maybe that brings a different sort of tension to the question--one having to do with whether a fan wants Jason to keep hold of his history, his roots, and find the permanence that Bruce promised when he took Jason in... or if they want him to give that up and forge a new future with a new family.

Jason really is, IMO, about tension. Not just in the conflict sense, though he does tend to bring tension and conflict to interactions. But thematically, his character and his arcs are filled with themes that constantly pull him in opposing directions. Even the dichotomy of the poverty he faced as a child versus the abundance of living with a millionaire is like that. In a lot of ways, canon tells us that he really just can't have everything he wants. So the question is... what does he have to give up?

i’m starting to realize there are at least two camps of jason todd fans. 

there are the ideological campers, who took under the red hood and ran with it.  the ones who believe whole-heartedly that jason todd is a character with a moral stance–counter, perhaps, to the man who raised him and the monsters that shaped him, but extant, all the same.  these people see jason shucking his ideals in canon and scoff, saying that it is a loss of integrity and a tragedy of what was good characterization. 

and then there are the emotional campers.  the ones who saw jason todd’s pain, his desire for a family who loved him enough to act as executioner.  it wasn’t an ideological purity that drove him–it was the emotional one, the familial one, and these people see jason struggling to mend bridges once burned and cheer him onward.  the ones who desperately want to see him shed his lone wolf persona and really, truly, become a part of the family.

in some sense, it ends up being a question of how faithful to the original characterization you want to be.  when jason is the villain and often when he’s the outlaw, he is antithetical to batman by nature.  he grips his pain and grief in his hands and uses it to act, same as batman, but in a diametrically opposed way.  in order to hang onto this, to keep this opposition in place, he cannot have his family.  but in order to have his family, to change from what he once became, he cannot have his ideals.

and i think it’s neat, because both of these camps want jay to succeed, you know?  but the question lies in whether they want that success to be in ‘cleansing gotham’/‘ridding the world of that which hurt him so no one else can be hurt’, so that he might save the world…

…or if they want it to be just him, reaching out a hand to someone and asking to be lifted up, so that he might save himself.

[starfieldbhm]

He/Him single SSBHM

Hey all I kinda wanted to try out a new bio for people to ignore 😅

Im the 7 time pink taco eating champion! I like short walks to the buffet line and my favorite color is green. Big spoon expert but working on my small spoon game. I'm hung like a field mouse but I can lick the crumbs outta the bottom of a Pringles can. Don't ask me to crush you if you're afraid of death, I can't be responsible.

Many many moons ago I was big and athletic. Ex-homecoming king and football badass 😎😄. Now I'm just really big. I'm extremely hedonistic. Not so much a feedee. Food just doesn't connect with me sexually sadly. But I love to live a life of excess and pleasure.

I'm a huge fan of gaming. I love games like magic the gathering, Warhammer, D&D. Even generic stuff like spades. I spend a vast majority of my day playing games online like league of legends and hunt showdown. I've got a pretty large steam collection so I may have what you play. I'm always on the lookout for some gaming friends.

I'm on disability so technically the US government thinks I'm so good at gaming and snacking they pay me to do it.

I do have an only fans. Link below. The only fans is basically snack money. The government might pay me to be a potato but the pay isn't great 😉. Also I stream on twitch from time to time. I love games but hate shirts. So you'll probably catch me gaming shirtless.

I try to get along with everyone, and I'd say I'm pretty easy going. But I find it hard to chat with right wingers. We just don't see eye to eye on alot of things. So if you like Trump, think covid is a hoax, are a racist, homophobe, sexist, or don't think people should be able to make decisions about their own body, or just all around a shit person. We're probably best to not chat, trust me 😁

I'm in an open relationship and a massive flirty slut. Sorry if I'm too much!

only fans - https://onlyfans.com/starfield

Twitch - Avtomatkelly

Feabs - thegreatergood

Grommr - starfieldbhm

[kamechan98]

YES!!!

I am so fucking sick of love triangels in general, I think they’re one of the lowest form of attempting relationship and character drama just for the sake of it. It’s like ‘we have nothing else we can think of that might develop the relationship between two characters before they get together so we’ll introduce a third character so we can draw it out even more just for the drama. Especially since 9 times out of 10 it’s painfully obvious which characters are going to end up together anyway so it always feels like a huge waste of time.

In the case of Vassago and Stolas as a pair, they have literally never interacted. For all we know they don’t even know each other (save for Vassago knowing of him) so there’s no ground to stand on in terms of them being a potential couple. Plus, as stated above, it would dismiss and minimize everything we’ve been through with these two:

Stolas saving Blitzø from being executed, attempting to sacrifice his own life for him,

Blitzø admitting that Stolas is his heart (if only to himself),

Blitzø trying and do everything he can to support and help Stolas losing everything,

Blitzø saving Stolas in turn from Andrealphus

Their dramatic kiss

Blitzø trying to comfort and be there for Stolas after Octavia cuts him out of her life

Their dance at the end of Sinsmas

I could go on but you see my point

I know a lot of shows will do that thing of drawing out a couple getting together for as long as possible and will throw in other potential candidates for being a love interest for one or both parties, but I always see this as cheap and telling that the only reason you don’t have a couple get together and stay together, letting us watch them grow and develop as a couple and as people, is because you want us to keep watching and be more invested in the drama of watching the main couple finally getting together. But in my experience it has the opposite effect and will just make your audience more and more frustrated with you and the show.

I don’t want to see a Will-They Won’t-They season for Stolas and Blitzø, we’ve already had that! Now give me them going on real genuine dates, being cute and affectionate with each other, fighting over differences but making up in the end like adults, having cute banter like an old married couple despite barely having gotten together but act like they’ve been dating for years.

That’s what I want!

Also, normalize friendships in shows! I understand wanting to see for LGBT representation in media, or that shipping in general is fun, but can we please stop acting is if having friends isn’t an option anymore? And Stolas has no friends outside of Blitzø so please give him more love from different people and in different ways, please and thank you!

Why must my favorite HB YouTuber post a video talking about the Stolas, Blitz, and Vassago love triangle headcanon, I can seemingly never escape.

Please don't act like it's a good idea, especially after the events of Mastermind and Sinsmas. IT'S NOT.

"Oh Blitz and Stolas can have a bit of a breakup, and explore other people."

THEY HAD A BREAK-UP!

"Oh they can spend some time apart during their breakup to see if they still want the other."

OH YES, LETS MAKE THIS FUCKING DUET ABSOLUTELY MEANINGLESS.

"Maybe they can explore other people."

STOLAS DID EXPLORE OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE MEMORY WAS SO FUCKING TRAUMATIC FOR BLITZ THAT IT'S IN THIS FUCKING MEMORY REEL.

Blitz is not strong enough for a love triangle! This man is a fucking bitch baby, he can't HANDLE IT!

Also...

Blitz has ZERO intentions of exploring other people when THIS IS HIS DREAM.

I... PLEASE STOP WITH THIS HEADCANON I FUCKING CAN'T.

Why can't Vassago just be a friend to Stolas, please? FFS Stolas has no friends! The closest he has to a friend is Blitz, but they might as well be fucking married by now at this point, since they live and work together.

[rekino2114]

Valentines prompt 5. a heartfelt love letter 🩷

This, of course, is going to a request for our best Spooky girl. In danganronpa despair time~ Veronika grebenshchikova, I feel she'd be the most interesting for this given her personality and interests. It'd probably be the most unique love letter in existence.

Veronika writing you a love letter

Valentine's prompts #5

Prompt list

Pairing:Veronika grebenshchikova x gn reader

A/n:I actually thought about making an actual letter on canva for this but it was to short and I was too lazy

Tw:a bit of talk about self-harm

Dear y/n

First of all, I am so sorry for leaving this in your dorm without permission, I know you said you don't mind, but I'm still sorry, I promise i didn't touch anything but I did leave another thing with this letter I'll give you some clues it's cute fluffy and may or may not be possessed by the spirit of a dead child....I know it's not that in theme for valentine's day but it was so adorable I couldn't not get it.

And before you freak out, this letter is written in red ink, not blood, turns out you can't write a full letter in blood, it's way too liquid, and also you'd need a ton of it.........so if you see me with a bandage around my finger You know why.

I know I'm sorry, but I thought it would have been so romantic to write my love for you in my own blood. It would have been like a sign that our love will be eternal, not that it already isn't. I would gladly rip my heart out and give it to you just to show you that it beats only for you if I could survive without it, like a zombie or like corpse bride I love that movie...........I just got the best idea for a couple cosplay.

Looks like I'm rambling even in a letter, sorry, but you do always say you love when I ramble about stuff I like, even with how gorey and creepy it may be, you still listen with so much interest, that's one of the many things I love about you.

And that's why I'm writing this in the first place, to tell you all the things I love about you, well not really I would need way more than a piece of paper to list all of them, your smile, your hair, your face, your screams, your laughter, your voice,your blood, your eyes, your inside (granted I've never seen them but I bet they look just as amazing as the rest of you)

The point is I love literally everything about you and just wanted to put it to paper on valentine's day, I assume you're already my valentine probably, is that how it works? Does it come in the package once you start dating? We become each other's valentines for all the following valentine's days? Anyway, still I love you and just wanted you to know that you're the love of my life and I wouldn't change that for the world.

The last thing I want to say is....thank you, just thank you for being in my life, I know we already talked about this and you don't like me to bring this up since it's in the past but I've stopped with the cuts ever since I met you and I think that just shows how great you are, you've helped me past the worst stage of my life and I genuinely could never thank you enough for that, every time I look at the scars I just smile and thank you, because you did that, you helped me move past that and you deserve the world for it, but my love will have to do.

Wow, it's been a while since I got this emotional over anything, but I guess that's kind of the point of valentine's day, to show the person you love just how much you love them, and i hope you felt that in this letter.

So let me say this one last time here, thank you darling, I love you with all of my heart ❤️

Veronika grebenshchikova

P.s:don't think you're getting out of horror movie night just because it's a holiday. You'd be surprised at how many horror movies there are about valentine's day or love in general, I'll wait for you in my dorm in a couple hours darling~

[polysucks]

I've seen a bunch of your indigenous headcanons for Starks and I love them so. Do you think of all First Men that way or particularly northern First Men/Starks? Also I'm going feral over your idea for a wild west AU!

HI I LOVE YOU.

I will talk forever about indigenous Starks and Northmen.

yeah. I’m that bitch. I am the #1 Indigenous Stark Truther* (unproven claim) and I will happily die on this hill.

I’m answering all of this on mobile like 15 mins before I have to be in class so I have none of my research in front of me and no sources, so yall feel free to jump in the comments and the reblogs to compound or (CONSTRUCTIVELY) Correct me :)

As we know, the First Men are all over the place. I mean it’s been, what, twelve thousand years since they came over from Essos on the Dornish Landbridge? (Sound familiar, fellow US Public Education System Victims?) and maybe six thousand years since the Andals migrated, with all the interbreeding and the thousands of years of generational melding, there’s bound to be traces First Men blood all over the planet by now. Just like all indigenous peoples irl! Imma have to write a whole thing about the Westerosi equivalent to the Columbian Exchange now is not the time—

So like personally, I see Native American coding in the Northmen. And all I know is of the American Indigenous perspective (and not even a whole lot bc I wasn’t raised in the tribe. I was removed from the tribe via my grandparents who are both Blackfoot-Salish out of the PNW and victims of modern colonization but that’s another story for another time. It’s just to preface that I am no expert in Native American culture, and only know what I personally know. I got some baller resources if you’re super interested tho)

In my personal humble onion. There would be a high concentration of First Men blood (god I really hate using the term ‘blood’ bc of blood quantum and lineage politics but for the sake of brevity imma just use it) in the Northmen. To me it’s giving PNW and Inuit who pressed north after the Columbian invasion because they had the means to survive in the harsh lands, where the whites. Simply didn’t. And knowing Peepaw is American, like, I see the parallels.

The First Men lived in close harmony with the land, practicing a nature-based religion—the worship of the Old Gods—centered around weirwood trees, sacred groves, and the guidance of “greenseers” and “skinchangers.” (We don’t use the W word around here but do you smell what I’m stepping in?) Their way of life was deeply tied to the land and vaguely resembles that of indigenous spiritual beliefs about animism and ancestral wisdom.

After however long years of battling with the Children of the Forest, the First Men reached the pact, agreeing to honor the children’s sacred forests and worship their gods. This mirrors real-world treaties between indigenous peoples and settlers, which were often later broken or disregarded (to put it nicely). the pact was chill for thousands of years (I think like I say I got no refs in front of me we die like Icarus), leading to the Age of Heroes, in which the First Men formed their own kingdoms, including the foundation of House Stark.

Bro that. Is so ancient American history coded. Same shit different font.

There’s a large population of indigenous peoples in reservation-adjacent areas cherry picked all over the US. I mean, we’re everywhere. Don’t ever let terminal narratives win. We out here babyyyyyy but to me it makes sense that the highest population of indigenous peoples of Westeros would be on the lands that are least likely to be gentrified (wrong word but imma stick w it) as in. The North. I can’t source any quotes rn specifically but how often is it mentioned that the north is the biggest and the “emptiest” in all their seven kingdoms?

So excellent question! Yeah I think all the Northmen are indigenous coded! You can’t convince me that Lyanna Mormont isn’t some badass fuckin thicc warrior goddess coded. And the Greatjon??? My mans leanin and rockin w a bear pelt. That man kills bears with his fists (just ask him) and I could go on forever about how The Boltons in all their violence and the rumors surrounding all that they’re capable of is so so so sooooo Comanche Ute and Sioux coded. They were so shat in by westward expansionists and rumored to be barbaric and cannibalistic and fuuuuuuucked up—simply bc they fought back against the people who were raping, pillaging, and stealing from them. But that’s pure speculation and personal hot take on my part, and wildly incorrect bc the boltons really do be flaying people. While the Ute, Comanche and Sioux did not. In fact. Flay anyone. (Unless they deserved it :) )

Tl;dr

Yeah man I think all the Northmen are native coded (w some Viking and Norse imagery thrown in there bc this is fantasy. It’s not that serious.) but the Starks heavily so due to the hard focus on the animism, their honor, connection to the land, spiritual beliefs, dedication to family, and the fockin’ wolves bro. Natives do be really into wolves. (Wolves are cool as fuck dude)

Also I got three chapters of my Wild West au already written and so much art I haven’t posted. when I unlearn shame and finally post it all it’s over for you bitches

[fanganfessions]

I personally don't like Project Eden's Garden, and I feel like it's trying far too hard to not be Dangan Ronpa to the point that it seems frankly embarassed about having any association with it from its writing and its consistent attempts to try and subvert DR writing, from the characters to even the execution we've seen (that IMO, lacks the kind of "style" canon executions have in an attempt to be far more brutal and drawn out without anything actually interesting to it in an aesthetic sense. It feels gory for the sake of being gory, even moreso than another execution I'd criticize like V3-2) and like it's trying too hard to subvert the series it's inspired by to the point it genuinely doesn't feel all that fun to engage with.

Things like the idea of a character presenting themselves as an "Ultimate Liar" just feel, for lack of a better word, fanfiction-y. A lot of the actual meat of the project feels amateurish to me, likely a result of the project changing hands due to the fallout between the old director and the original writers parting ways due to abuse 3 years ago or so, like old plot points were left behind and people tried to make them work rather than scraping things that I personally think go against his attempts to make its characters more grounded or realistic.

I don't enjoy any of the characters as they are and feel no attachment towards them or their designs, and I think the decision to replace the mascot with a guy in a mask was a poor one in a somewhat misguided attempt to make the game feel more, I dunno, mature? But to me it just comes off as another attempt to distance itself from DR, which the game fails at anyway because the twist of "characters who seem important both die chapter one" is very much a DR-esque move, for example.

There's a lot I could get into, and these are just mismanaged thoughts, but I feel like the project lacks style and any affection for the original series, and also comes off as exceedingly pretentious at times. (I personally hate the orchestral soundtrack, and I feel like something like "here's a real life orchestral composition of our theme" feels a lot like showing off at that point) I also just don't see the project being sustainable, especially with the prediction of it taking another two years for the second chapter.

All in all, though, I just can't enjoy it personally because it comes off as a very generic Fangan dressed up with high production value that people aren't willing to criticize both for fear of being attacked by an honestly rabid fanbase, and because it's definitely the big kid on the block and it can be hard to criticize a fan project being done for free. I just find it to be, well, not that good, and unworthy of the massive amounts of praise it's been receiving, but I'm biased to finding it kind of irritating due to my own personal tastes and the large amounts of praise its been receiving I personally disagree with.

But beyond that, it just feels like it doesn't want to be Dangan Ronpa, and maybe it shouldn't be, and its attempts to distance itself from it while still being clearly derivative of it (SHSL talents, the artstyle, the format) come off as more irritating to me than anything. I just don't think it's that good or the second coming of Dangan Christ or whatever, and it falls into the same trappings I'd criticize pretty much every other Fangan, and even the official series for, but it sticks out even more due to how desperate it is to be not Dangan Ronpa, or more than just Dangan Ronpa. This one just has more budget.

⠀

[katyspersonal]

Er fandom is soo funny sometimes like in x theyre crying how shipping Rellana/Rennala with Messmer/Radagon is misogyny to reduce strong female characters to be nothing but love interest to male characters which is something i agree with but then they turn and reduce Rellana/Rennala to be Marikas lovers so its not misogyny now😭😭😭😭 rules for thee but not for me

Dude, Marika x Rennala situation is real and deadly, but as for your second example there is only ONE person who is notorious for giving Rellana no personality or acknowledgement beyond being braindead Marika's simp while also trashing on Rellana x Messmer over "misogyny and lesbophobia". No, spamming "misogyny" accusations in Elden Ring fandom like they're in a DPS check situation in general. And with all due respect to them pumping out fanart like assembly line, they and a group of their passionate fans is not "Er fandom". They are just a very loud group and apparently they've angered SO many people that ever since they and their friend who pretended to just "join Tumblr to support favorite artist" (assuming it wasn't just their alter) trashed @val-of-the-north and then got obliterated with facts by me I kept getting DMs after DMs of different people "thanking" me for speaking against their toxic behavior and sharing their own negative experiences with them. 🤦‍♂️

Like, the girls are really unhappy with them. They should reconsider how they behave in the fandom, especially with this much popularity. And if they already have I would not know, I no longer look in their general direction because after how Val was treated seeing any post from them puts a pit in my stomach. I am notorious for taking extremely long time to recover from grudges, especially if they aren't just personal but on behalf of friends or community. :p

And now, back to the subject:

"which is something I agree with"

? Not sure what you wanted to say with this by the way. I assume you wanted to say you agree with the frustration of reduction of female characters rather than disliking the concept of these ships

Or course both ships are absolutely alright! Rellana believes that Fire and Moon should be together as they always have as stated in the description of her blades in Japanese (something localisation team distorted into near-opposite direction)! You know, like they always have since the times of Fire Giants and Astrologers, a bond also treasured in Caria Manor with keeping Sword of Night and Flame! If anything, he is her love interest as he was worth abandoning the birth right as a princess in her eyes! Though one might argue it is ideological and Rellana is idealising, but standing for her beliefs despite the consequences is strong! Messmer has a TON lot to work through with Rellana, seeing a person that loves his curse, when this very thing ruined his life and has been scaring his own mother, and you can see in what good outcomes it can bring both!

Radagon and Rennala, on the other hand, are literally canon. Fromsoft were the ones who """reduced Rennala to just a simp""" by making her go insane from heartbreak, yet even then, she had a backstory as a Moonlight Witch who took over the Academy, and had tender bond with both Rellana and Ranni. Something was whack here, but nothing says Radagon didn't even try to love her or had life with her worthy of shippy fluff. He is just heavily compromised as a person because he is literally a sentient law of nature (he is Golden Order), that depends on how Marika shaped it. Of course he would reforge her wedding gift into a golden sword, it is literally what Golden Order DOES with cultures and the world! This guy was NOT kicking and resisting when he got called to marry Marika instead, but even then who can tell he didn't feel bitter that he had to hurt everyone by his very being and duties? Marika proclaimed to "study the depths of the Golden Order" as transition ( 🥁 ) into a new, more civilized and informed era! You'd think keeping Radagon close 24/7 would prevent him from visiting his divorce family more often? This stuff and this pair is still in the source material, and it isn't anyone's business to claim superior interpretation across the fandom unless female character is literally just a plot decide which Rennala doesn't magically become only because we find her at her lowest point (so... like we find most of the "legendary" characters in every Soulsborne game already....).

___________________

This was just me musing about the ships, but yes, again: literally nothing is wrong with these ships! It is when fans do reduce Rennala and Rellana to just simps what's frustrating, but shallow takes on female characters is problem of fandoms and interacting with media in general, and can't be blamed on concrete ships!

I have deep loathing for fans who complain about this issue yet themselves write female characters in a very shallow way but NOW it's okay because it's yuri and not MxF! Vocal Mariadeline fans did that in Bloodborne, vocal shippers of Rellana or Rennala with Marika do that in Elden Ring... 🤦‍♂️ They claim to be super feminist, yet are sending opposite message by having high quality requirements for MxF ships while celebrating cottagecore mediocrity and shallow portrayals for yuri ships. So, the elite yuri ships are already good by definition and don't need depth, thought and drama, unlike them peasant MxF ships that MUST be well-written and respect characters involved? Is this what they're saying? You either despise ANY reduction (?) of female character or accept any of them, no double standards. Especially when double standards depend on gender of the characters involved??? WTF???

[luffydotcom]

straw hats and birthday gifts

synopsis: headcanons on gifts i think the straw hats would like on their birthdays! (+ their birthdays in general)

feat: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji (i was going to do the rest but it was getting pretty long)

notes: this is my first post ever on this blog and on tumblr... but since my birthday is coming up soon, and i love one piece, i had to make this! i had to think really hard about this to be honest, since they're all so different from each other + their interests are quite different

warnings: (slight) whole cake island spoilers in sanji's part

luffy:

LUFFY doesn't take his birthdays too seriously. he does take note of when his birthday is coming up, but it's not something he's too bothered about. he probably wouldn't ask for too much for his birthday, since every day is a fun day for him, so is his birthday much different?

however, he would definitely be happy with anything food-related - a big, cartoonishly towering cake (baked by sanji, of course, for his special day) that he could eat with his friends would make him very happy.

honestly, luffy would appreciate anything that satisfies his stomach - even a huge piece of meat, made extra special and extra large, would be enough of a gift for him!

most importantly, a big party with all his friends on the ship would make his whole birthday complete. he loves to party, and it would feel even more fun on such a special day.

zoro:

ZORO doesn't care too much about his birthday. he's only getting a year older, why make a big deal out of it? it's part of life, right? he's not the type to ask for gifts - but if he were to receive any, he would definitely appreciate it and be grateful for it, even if he doesn't explicitly show it.

anything that would help zoro take care of or maintain his swords he would definitely appreciate. his swords are very important to him - the thought of someone acknowledging this through a gift would almost certainly make him happy on his birthday.

additionally, zoro trains a LOT. if you were to give him training equipment on his birthday - even something as ridiculous as the comically big dumbbells he uses, or even a mat to work out on, he would definitely love! it shows that you understand his interests and priorities and want to help him in becoming stronger.

nami:

due to NAMI'S childhood, she never had much time to celebrate her birthday or receive any nice gifts. it would definitely mean a lot to her to receive a gift on her birthday, and while she would be happy with anything, she does have her own preferences.

nami is very a fashionable girl that enjoys dressing for the occasion. she loves designer fashion and luxury brands and would be over the moon to receive this as a gift. however, even if it wasn't designer or expensive, she would be happy nonetheless - she still has new additions to her wardrobe!

on the topic of fashion, nami loves making her outfits stand out. she would absolutely love receiving accessories to add to her wardrobe - especially jewellery. (it doesn't have to be very expensive, although she would be over the moon if it was!) new earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets or rings would make a great birthday gift.

and honestly, if that's too hard, just give her a wad of cash - she wouldn't complain at all. she could just buy whatever she wants using it as gift money.

usopp:

USOPP somewhat looks forward to his birthday - it's a day all about him, for him, why shouldn't he get just a little excited? although, he won't make a big scene for it. he isn't very demanding with what he wants, but there are definitely certain things he would like for his birthday.

usopp is creative, trying to design new things to help the crew (such as with nami's clima-tact) and also for himself. anything arts, crafts, or graphics related, such as a sketchbook or new pencils, pens, or other art supplies would have him overjoyed on his birthday, showing you understand his creative side.

obviously, since usopp is a sniper, a new type of gunpowder or ammo would also make a great gift for him. if you gave him something creative and new that would be great on enemies that he doesn't have in his inventory, or something he can use to create a new kind of gunpowder, it would be not only a great gift, but a useful one.

sanji:

SANJI never celebrated his birthdays in his early childhood. while his brothers were celebrating their birthdays together as a family, he sat quietly in a cell from afar, forgotten. although when he was adopted by zeff, he would get small gifts and plenty of birthday punches from the chefs at the baratie. sanji is a giver who expects nothing in return, so to receive a gift on his birthday - even a small one - would make his heart melt.

being a chef, sanji would love a new cookbook for his birthday. cooking is his passion, and he loves trying new things and experimenting with his food. a cookbook bursting with recipes he hasn't tried or are completely new to him he would absolutely love!

additionally, he would love new seasonings or spices as a gift. even it if was a small amount, he would be overjoyed that he has something new to add to his cooking, especially as with seasonings, the options are practically limitless.

sanji cares a lot about his appearance and looking his best, much like nami. a new suit and tie or new fashionable clothing would be perfect for him. more specifically, new shoes with strong soles and durability would have him absolutely thrilled and extremely thankful... his shoes can only take so much damage with all the kicking he does.

if it was from a lady, realistically speaking, sanji would be happy with practically anything, even a jar of dirt... LOL

[volvolts]

Wanted to run this by you since you keep your own writing very grounded in the text.

What do you think of AUs that take Philip's self-centeredness and reverse it? As in run it in the opposite direction, from Genocidal Bigot towards Guilt-Paralyzed Loner? Do you think there's a right and wrong way to do such AUs? Does it sound like a realistic departure from canon to you?

i dont remember if i ever saw one in a long time (i think defanged belos was only one that comes to mind that's similar rn). i actually haven't seen a lot of au philip stuff like this (i honestly struggle starting a lot of things i've been meaning to get into and also sometimes its hard to find lol). plus writing a guilt ridden character (especially as a main character) is hard since there's a fine line between reading about someone's guilt and just hearing someone wangsting and feeling sorry for themselves. it can get annoying real fast. i also can't properly imagine the right "turning point" for him.

honestly i'm willing to accept breaks from canon if it's fairly minor "quality of life" moments and his turn is believable within the confines of its story ya know? generally i dont think there's a right or wrong way to make this work and if i dont like it it's usually because it goes against my personal takes on the show and not because of "quality" if that makes sense?

though any belos turning good stories im very picky about who they villainize and how they do it. its hard to explain but i feel like if they try to make kikimora worse than belos then i'm not that into it. i think if its feels like the author singled out a character to make them the bad guy because they dont like them, or at least they just like belos more and need a scapegoat if that makes sense? i dont really find this one a lot in this fandom so we're pretty good there tho

as for one that follows canon? i remember a post i saw a while back (i think it was from @/levshany?? i dont remember) where they said a "canon compliant" belos realizing he was wrong and giving up is next to impossible because he would try to die due to the guilt and we would never have the plot.

for something like this to be "canon realistic", this would be my idea of it

(talk of suicide under the read more)

an evil to guilt pipeline belos would be one where he just tries to die. if we want him to live until luz's time then we would have an "immortal who wants to die" situation. he's far enough where it's hard to die easily but not far enough where he's the emperor or anything. and i firmly believe that he would still be the villain

we need to also keep in mind he's still being self centered. he may feel remorseful for his actions but he's so caught up in his punishment and "what he deserves" he doesn't realize that there has to be other avenues to take because this idea clearly isn't working. if we go the loner route, he's a cryptid the witches spread around because they have no clue what he is, he's a lone man who will do any favors you ask but in return you must try to kill him, if you fail he'll end your life instead. he's forgotten caleb and his own hatred for the witches. he only remembers his guilt and his need to die and his anger and self hatred that he can't. he doesn't even remember his why anymore.

if he has the collector, i can see a route where he tries to find a titan to free him. their exchange is this: philip frees the collector and in exchange, the collector either kills or imprisons him as a doll along with everyone else (meanwhile philip is just unconscious and in his own head and no longer feeling anything anymore also i dont remember if luz's dream as a doll was the exception or the rule or only happening when the collector brings you out to play with)

philip is trying so hard to die that he does not care who is going down with him. instead of being a genocidal bigoted maniac, he's more like someone that needs to be put down because he has no idea where to start "redeeming" himself. he would be frustrating and pitiful to watch as he self sabotages and descends further into darkness. he made himself irredeemable because he believed he didn't deserve it.

the problem then would just be this is a complete departure of what the owl house is. forgiveness and redemption isn't that big a theme in toh thats for certain. their themes is self acceptance and expression, among other things. weirdos stick together and all that. this could technically be paralleled to luz's guilt but personally im one of the people who found luz's guilt sudden and also completely unfounded (like she didn't know, plus her helping someone only to make things worse by trusting the wrong person was never treated like a major flaw of hers before. it was something she did but it was never presented as something she needed to fix ya now?)

(but im kinda just rambling at the end here though. obviously fanfic, or any media tbh, is not obligated to teach you a lesson or reflect themes. i dont go into someones au and expect a dissertation. i just hope the author is having fun and other people are too)

[jezebelgoldstone]

YES OKAY DESPAIR NOT I'VE GOT YOU FRIEND.

Briefly: I learned how to crochet when I was six, and did so regularly until I was in my mid-twenties. Then I started getting pain in my thumb. It got so bad and I was so scared of carpal tunnel and arthritis that I stopped crocheting for about 5 years. I didn't talk to a doctor or anything about it because I was convinced they were going to tell me I could never crochet again, and I knew I just couldn't handle hearing that. Somewhere in those five years knitting started to hurt my wrists as well, so I prioritized typing and gave up knitting too.

So like I said about 5 years after I hadn't crocheted at all, I finally managed to work up the emotional fortitude to talk to my doctor about it.

If you have pain from doing your hobbies, things that make you happy, then that means that you are having pain that is lowering your quality of life and you do deserve medical care for it. I'm not a doctor & you should talk to your own doctor too because our situations may be very different, obviously.

That said! I'm going to tell you what worked for me!

Me: my joints hurt when i knit or crochet. I'm worried im developing arthritis.

Dr: How do you manage the pain when you knit or crochet?

Me: I don't. I stopped doing either a few years ago.

Dr, emphatic: oh no no no! You can't STOP! That will just make it worse!

Me: ...wat

Dr: if you stop doing those motions with your joints, or stop using those joints altogether, that will cause them to deteriorate!

Me: so i just... push through the pain...?

Dr: the pain is caused by irritation and swelling, which will ALSO cause deterioration. What you need to do is take an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen about fifteen minutes before you start knitting or crochetting. Do that for a while and you won't develop arthritis.

Me: sounds fake but okay.

Fam I took an advil and fifteen minutes later knitted or crocheted for an hour or two like three times and i was fine.

So after the doctor told me that there was no reason I should have to give up two hobbies that I love so much, I started paying more attention to how I crochet and I have come up with the below list.

Jez's 3 Easy Steps to Not Fuck Your Joints While Crocheting or Knitting

See above re: talking to doctors and also using ibuprofen to manage joint irritation swelling & pain.

COMFORTABLE ERGONOMIC TOOLS. Can't stress this one enough. For knitting, this means using only wooden knitting needles and never metal or plastic. The lighter the needle the better. For crocheting, this means getting those crochet hooks with the rubber padding on the end. Yes they are more expensive than the plain metal hooks, but guys, these are life-changing. Life-saving, even. Also I know we all hate shein and amazon, but amazon has sets of the lightest bamboo needles ive ever found at like ten pairs for seven dollars, & shein has padded ergonomic crochet hooks in all the normal sizes generally for like under two or three dollars a pop. Get you some bamboo knitting needles & padded ergonomic crochet hooks I am begging.

Pay attention to your actual movements when you crochet! I hold the crochet hook a little funky (like a pencil instead of with my whole hand) but that alone isn't enough to do harm. It turns out one of my problems was that I was using the hook to grab the loop and pull it onto the shaft of the hook, and in so doing I was rolling my thumb. So I was rolling my thumb literally every stitch. I started keeping the hook still and pushing the point through the loops instead, thereby also keeping my thumb still, et voila! It took a little while to get used to, but this also has been life-altering!

Don't give up! You deserve to be able to do the things you love and that make you happy without pain and without stressing that you're destroying your body! I know it seems like the kind of thing that doctors wouldn't pay attention to, but your hobbies causing pain lowers your quality of life and you do deserve medical care for it! Even if your doctor sucks or you don't have access to medical care, you can still do other things that will lessen the stress on your joints!

ok quastion for the crocheters. has crocheting ever caused you pain on the base of your thumb in the hand holding the hook?? I dont think I'm holding it weird or clenching my hand and yet. guess what's hurty

[pettyprocrastination]

whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 

He became a smuggler because of it. 

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 

“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 

All he can do is nod. 

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 

“One.” 

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.” 

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 

“Four.” 

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”